The IMPOSTER Syndrome
This is a major epidemic that affects so many of us and reeks havoc on our self esteem.
Women are much more susceptible to this particular syndrome.
Ahhh… the Imposter Syndrome. Yes this is one of my biggest hurdles in life.
The Imposter Syndrome is when we feel as though we are not capable and don’t have the tools that we need in order to be successful and claim true success in our lives, when in truth we have all the tools we need and are fully capable but the fact is we feel like a FRAUD.
I bump up against this syndrome frequently in my line of work as I am a healer, teacher, coach, speaker, writer and I feel frequently like I have to have it ALL FIGURED OUT and Be PERFECT before I can even begin to help others.
Fearing that if others see my own sufferings, pains, struggles than they will write me off as someone they would want to listen to for guidance. Having been a massage therapist for 14 years and having chronic pain made me feel like a fraud, like somehow I should be absolved of physical pain because I help other people get out of pain. Or being an empowerment self love coach that I should never doubt myself or struggle with my own lack of self love and personal empowerment.
This is a fucking sham!!!
It’s a scenario where one can NEVER WIN. I won’t ever be perfect enough when it comes to those inner critics that live in my head, I won’t ever have enough figured out to appease those snarling gremlins that try to keep me scared, stuck , and small. The truth is I am great at what I do because I am human too.
The truth is NO ONE has it all figured out, no one is completely free of fear, or doubt, or worry.
In my empowerment coaching program there is an exercise where you go to the mirror and look into your own eyes and you repeat your worst fear of what other people might find out about you – Example:
“I am a fraud and I will never be truly successful. I remain small and with no value to others for the rest of my life. I will never amount to anything!”
You sit and say these things over and over and over while looking into your eyes until it no longer triggers you, until the voice inside says “ENOUGH!!!! This is not true, it’s time to move on!”
If our fears go unacknowledged, and we don’t have access to them or we are unaware of what they really are they can secretly control our lives.
Bringing our Fear to the forefront of our minds, acknowledging it, and then most importantly QUESTIONING IT. As with the work of Byron Katie and her inquiry- we say “I am a fraud. I am not good enough. I will never be successful.” and then we ask “IS THAT TRUE? How can I know thats true?”
We can limit ourselves in such profound ways if we never question or doubt the inner voice in us that says “we are not enough”. A helpful tip:
Don’t listen to everything you tell yourself about yourself!
Fears can be slippery tricksters that want nothing more then to keep controlling you. Fear says “Better the Devil you Know, then the Devil you don’t“. It wants you to stay small and it tells you it’s for your own protection. It will try to convince you it’s there to help and keep you safe.
Questioning whether this is the voice of inner guidance or inner fear will open you to new opportunities. How to tell the difference between Inner Guidance and Inner Fear, inner guidance feels good , feels like something is guiding you that loves you , inner fear feels like anxiety, doubt, insecurity.
Inner guidance says “psst…come this way“. Inner fear says “noooo don’t go that way… it’s dangerous“.
Tune in and learn to connect with your inner guidance. Give it a name, a voice you can hear over all others, a sound, a color – anything that will help you get more clear on when it’s true wisdom guiding you and offering you love and support, and when it’s fear keeping you small and afraid.
Love you all- Amber.
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